Risks of Asking Your Man to Lose Weight
It was the early hours of Saturday morning and the boyf had stumbled drunkenly into the bedroom at almost 4am, bumbled haphazardly around the room for a while, slipped under the covers and snuggled into me, planting kisses on me. I woke up briefly, mumbled hello and kissed him good night and fell asleep again. About an hour or so later, an alarm started to let out piercing blasts and I woke up scared shitless whilst the boyf snored away blissfully beside me. I jabbed him in the side.
"Boyf, what the hell is that noise?"
"A guard dog?!" I repeated incredulously.
"S'guard dog, must have triggered..." and he was asleep again.
The alarm had stopped by now but I lay there half asleep completely confused. I didn't know we had a guard dog in our apartment building - My mind did a mental run through of all of the flats and couldn't figure out where the guard dog was. Was he saying that there was a guard dog in the flat? How the hell did a dog get in there? Oh my God, had he brought a dog home with him? Why the f*ck couldnt I hear it? Well I'm not getting out of the bed, I decided.
Minutes later, the alarm started again and this time it had different rhythms and was shrieking different tunes.